Adieu 2009

Its time to bid adieu to 2009. I should say it was an eventful one, rather i should say disastrous one, both on personal and professional front for me. I surmise its the same for almost the whole world. Of course exceptions are there always. I am not taking them into account. The company in which I am working at present found it tough times in the first week of Jan 2009 followed by more in stake. Those were the most dreaded days as far as us concerned. But now things are going smoothly.Hope the new year ll be more good.

The world also saw a lot of changes like Barack Obama being selected as US President and recently being the proud recipient of Nobel Peace Prize. Well its better I dont go much into it. Our India is shining much brighter in the global arena.But still Kasab's trial is going on. So many things happened in the last one year.I want to say mnay more things. But i m not so confident to type from office stopping now. If I get a chance I will continue tomorrow.

With all my heart I welcome 2010 :)

Merry Christmas!!!!!!!!!

It is holiday time. Celebration time. Christmas is too near by. Everyone is having fun. All the shops and other kinds are offering so many discounts and attractive prizes. People are so confused where to go and what to buy. Anyway none of these prompted me to write this but the carol song which I heard last night that brought good old memories from the past; to be exact the one which I celebrated three years before when I was in my final year. It was part of our LH tradition, like so many other traditions we had, that the final year girls will have a carol group and entertain the hostelites and nearby faculty quarters. We prepared in full swing like every night we had a rehearsal, it was the time when I heard many of the carol songs like Silent night,Joy to the world, fa la la etc. It was too fun to sing and the singers like Sneha and all trying to organize us with lot of difficulty. Then on the day we went to all the faculties’ houses and had good time. To roam around in our campus during night time is one of the best experience in our college life, especially for us girls who had to be in hostel within 7 PM. We presented ourselves very well , with Priyanka as Santa and all of us in Red colored dress and sang the carol songs which we rehearsed tirelessly, entertained everyone, of course collected money also which we later offered to some charity trust. The last house we visited was Rose’ house where we had a Christmas cake. So when I heard the songs in radio I was just remembering the good old days which will never come back but I can cherish always. After receiving the money we left every house singing ”We wish you a merry Christmas, We wish you a merry Christmas and a Happy New Year”. I too have the same thing to say to all.

Zzzzzzz.......

I have come across these moments many a time; sitting idle, doing nothing. Please dont tell me that why can't you do something useful rather thn sitting idle.Well...I can.But who ll take the chance? I am not that sort. I donno how many times I yawned jus after typing this post itself. So you can envisage my present state of mind. The days are passing too fast. The last month was an eventful one compared to other months i had in my company. Other than that Chennai is getting wet again.Nice climate to prolong your sleep a little more in the morning. At times I feel life is so beautiful. In the very next moment it will turn out to be a disaster. Of course, there are ups and downs in life. Have to sail all the way. No other go.

Is there anyone out?I am so scared..........

Yes...that's what exactly in my mind now....I am all alone in my office at 3 O clock in the morning. All this week I was in night shift i.e., till 4 am.But I was not alone till today.Atleast my colleague was there. Even at that time also I used to hear some unusual sounds like somebody typing keyboard but whn I go and look noone will be ther. But today I expected me to be alone in this office least. On top of it I got hell lot of work to do..Well, atleast compared to other days when I was just reading tweets and doing other stuff.May be today is the Punishment day..Sigh!!!To overcome the loneliness and other scary thoughts I am listening to my ipod; some of the very rare occasions I use it. Atleast at these moments I can relieve from the guilt of buying it.
Other than this nothing much is happening in my life. Started reading Fountain Head. Found very interesting. The two leading characters in the book are poles apart.I donno I can make a judgement at this juncture considering I have not even read ten chapters. Anyway I liked the protagonist Howard whereas Keating is the exact representation of today's most of the youth who are ambitious,selfish, capable to do anything to reach the top position with a don't care attitude towards others feelings.
Weather in Chennai is very cold now.The only season which is good and far beyond comparison to all other seasons.

Hurray...Weekend!!!

Yes..Atlast the most awaited day of week has come.The Friday ..Iit has opend its door by knocking the door of weekend which lays ahead.Anywya for me its not gonna be an eventful one.May come to office because of some pending work.Other than that have to start reading "Fountain Head" which I look forward a lot.I have heard that its a higly acclaimed one and have longed to read it for quite some time.

Congrats Chetan...

I think I reached early in the office. I got the bus as soon as I reached the bus stop. I think today my morning was filled with Chetan Bhagat in one way or other. In metroplus I read that his new book "2 States" is going to hit a million mark very soon.Yup..its gonna strike 10 lakh copies just within 10 weeks whereas his last book "Three mistakes in my life" took ten months to reach the same mark. Kuddos Chetan...Keep it up. Hope you will strike many more millions in future.After feeling happy about this news I was listening to FM as usual and tehre was a contest going on based on 2 States. The questionw as very simple, who are the leading characters of 2 States.Call and answer correctly you can win all Chetan's books.I was so excited about the news I mentioned previously that I called the radio station and answered.Well..the excitement ends here. Later I came to know someone else was winner. As usual this time also luck din't strike me. Felt like shouldn't have called and wasted my money.But its ok.Its not about winning,but participating.Atleast I can console myself saying this.Now back to work.Seems the coming week gonna be a hectic.

Balthackaray Vs.Sachin

I really don't know what the hell is wrong with Sivsena leader Balthackaray. The result of Maharashtra Assembly has gone over his head it seems. Sachin hasn't told anything but what our constitution has assured each and every citizen of this country. There is nothing to be get irked except for cheap publicity. The tarnished image of Sivsena is ot gonna make any better by this kinda farce.Please understand that Mr.Thackaray.

An accident.........

This post has come out of outrage towards me and others who are like me. Today on the way to office I witnessed an accident. Well..you may think that its not an unusual one on a busy road. But what raged me was not only the accident which would have caused by the reckless driving of someone or the pedestrian who did not use the over bridge to cross the road.The one which is shocking even now in my mind is that the apathy of the people towards the accident victim,who happened to me an old lady lying right in the middle of the road. Though its a busstop with lots of shops and people noone bothered to take her from there and to a hospital. The conductor in my bus, I surmise, called someone and intimated. I am not sure whether she is dead or still alive. Whatever may be the case how can we allow a fellow human being lying in the middle of road like a stray dog and to die. Are we all so inhumane?The humanity inside us is not alive anymore?Have we become so ruthless and egotistic?I think each and everyone of us should find an answer to this question.

She...

This is supposed to be a story.I wrote this on an impulse a few days before. But after writing I was not satisfied. So decided not to post. Now again I feel like posting it. Have not done any editing or something of that sort. So please bear me for posting this here. The story starts here.

She sat there with swollen eyes. Tears were still rolling down on her cheeks. The people on the platform dint give her much notice. They were too busy to assure a seat in the train which came late as usual. It was an ordinary day. No special occasion was around the corner. So the station was not crowded much except for the regular passengers. She saw things happening around through her tears which made it obscure. Anyway she gave it least attention. Though her body was there, mind was somewhere else. It was loitering in the unknown ways it has never come across.

A police man came near to her and asked which train you wanted to go. She dint hear him first. So he repeated it a little more loudly. She turned her head and looked at the policeman."I..I don't know.""What?"The policeman gave her a shocking look."I mean I am going to Chennai and I am waiting for my friend. He will join me soon."She managed to give a reply somehow.The policeman was not satisfied at her reply. May be he wasn't convinced at her reply. He said,"The train is after one hour.Its getting dark and its not safe to sit here alone. Go and sit in ladies' waiting room.".She gave him a shabby smile and nodded.The policeman gave her back the smile and left.

The train which came left the platform and a few people still remained here and there. She could sense some staring eyes at her which were not so comfortable. So she lifted her luggage and went to the waiting room.She entered the waiting room and amde herself found a place to sit and keep her luggage. She observed the room. There were not many. An old lady was sitting uncomfortably in the plastic chair trying to make her comfortable by moving every now and then. Another one was a girl who may be a student reading some novel. A mom was trying to put her child to sleep by patting on its back. It was unusually quiet.Anyhow noone seemed to be interested in a conversation which she felt like a blessing.She was in no mood of conversing with anyone.

Her train was at late night. Still more than three hours or so. She came early not in the expectation of her friend's company, which she knew well by this time that would never happen again. But, just to make herself free or else she would have gone crazy pondering over the things which happened in her life. So she set off early. At home she lied that her friend would join her at railway station. When they called her she said the friend was there with her. She had come early to the station even before also. Has spent time with her best friend who Called her now as just a friend.Yes...Thats correct. The best friends are now "just friends". She didnt know what went wrong in the past three years. Both of them were more or less similar when they first get to know each other. Shared similar views and decided to be best friends forever which dint even last for more than three years as it happened now.Both of them were more of introverts though not extreme. Didnt have many close friends. So they shared everything between them both happiness and sorrows. They found solace in each other. It never turned out to be a romantic relation. But it was stronger than that. Thay talked about anything and evrything on earth. Some were informative some were just stupid things. She was always there for him. He too cared her too much.

But as the time passed there seemed to be seen cracks. He dint remain no more introvert. He became more social. She was happy for his positive changes. He got more friends and spent lots of time with them.Often forgot to keep in touch with her, but she waited for him.She knew that her best friend could ever forget her.But what happened was that he started to avoid her slowly which hurt her a lot. He seldom got time to share things with her. There started to have initial sparks. She too started reacting. Things got worse. One day he called and asked her to stop calling him. He said she had become a nuisance and pleaded her to give some mental peace. She was shocked at what he told. She felt like her breath has been stopped.However disputes have been happened between them this was the least expected thing for her. She was fighting back her tears. But she had no other option other than to leave him since she always wanted him to be happy. She had always thanked God for giving him as her friend. But now it is the punishment she is getting for all the wrong doings in her life. She promised him she wouldnt call again and kept the phone. She spent the whole night crying.In the morning she had to go to somewhere. And thats how she decided to go to Chennai to meet her friends.Its not like it would help her to forget the things but just to divert the mind.She thought why did she trust him so much. He was never my brother or boyfriend. He was just another friend whom she loved so much. She started to cry again. Suddenly she realised that the old lady was staring at her for quite some time. She took out her hanki and wiped her eyes and gave a fading smile at her. She smiled back.

The announcement made for her train.She took her luggage and walked out the waiting room. She saw some familiar face out there. It was him. Her best friend. He was walking towards her. He smiled at her. She couldnt believe her eyes. She thought she was just dreaming.But he reached right in front of her and said,"I am sorry.I dint mean to hurt you."She couldnt believe her eyes and ears.She hugged him and said,"I am sorry too.I dint want to happen things like this.I want you to be my best friend."He said,"I promise We will be the best of friends forever.Now dont cry anymore and lets go back home." He took the luggage from her and walked towards the exit. She saw a kid smiling at her and she too smiled back with wholeheartedly.

Just another one

Nothing special is happening in life. Its just as usual. Seems like days are passing pretty fast. Just trying to be more regular in Twitter. Of course here also. Sometimes I feel like I never wanted to grow up and face the bitter reality of life. May be I am being a coward and don't have enough courage and willingness to fight against the odds. Whatever I are all these things the least. I thought of writing something else and ended up in the same old "Please help me someone" kinda stuff. Sometimes I feel there is a silver lining in every cloud but always the wind will move it away. It reminds me of a forward which goes like this "whenever I get the key to success, someone changes the lock". Isn't it funny and thought provoking? Well.I just felt so. Let me write something more creative rather than ranting some stupid things like this.

Some thoughts on vision

Today on my way to hospital with mom I read a writing written on the wall of St.Thomas College which aptly states my current plight.It goes like this"The most pathetic state of a human is to have sight without vision"I don't remember who said this. Must be someone famous. But how true it is. All the great personalities on earth had a vision.Gandhiji had a vision for independent IndiaThe main reason behind my laziness is that I don't have a vision or aim in life.I take life as it comes. Never try to make any change in it. I think everyone and every organisation should have a vision to achieve something. The ultimate aim should be to reach that vision or to realise it. Easily said than done. Anyway lemme think what shall be my vision. Till then cyanora.

Life sucks!!!!!!!

Its been quite a long time I have written anything in my blog. When I wanted to write my internet turned its face away. And caught up in so many other things. Nothing interesting happening. I am just moving with the flow. Don't know where will it end? But who cares at all.Read Chetan Bhagat's new novel 2 States. Loved it. I thought FPS was his best so far. Well..2 States is a threat to that. It has got the sarcasm and humour as usual. A must read one. I think I should seriously look out for a new job. Or else I ll be jeopardising my own life which I can't let happen. Thinking of becoming more frequent in blogosphere. So shall see you soon.

I am alive....

Its been more than a month I have written anything here. Though everyday I would think of writing, the laziness which is now in its peak, seldom allows me to do so.Fortunately today I am successful in overcoming it. Its been more than three months I am enjoying my life at home. Lots of competitive exams are on its way. The recession which is in a way the cause for my vaccation has celebrated its anniversary. Lots of colleagues and batch mates are getting married which makes me wonder when will my number come;). Read only one book named Reluctant Fundamentalists. Albeit I have started Shalimar The Clown, have not finished it yet. Chetan Bhagat's new book 2 States is in its way and eagerly waiting for it. To put it bluntly the life is going in the same old track with a little more boredom and laziness.

Happy Birthday Chennai.....

It was 370th birthday of chennai on August 22nd...So I wish you the city a very happy birthday.Though I am not in Chennai to celebrate it I read in newspapers that all the Chennaites would celebrate it in a big way. I am sure all the fm channels would have done their best to celebrate it.I wish I was there.I miss you Chennai...

One month of idleness!!!!!

Yes..thats correct.Its been one whole month I have reached my home.And I have not done anything.Absolutely nothing.I know very well that its not a thing which I can boast of. But still I could not refrain myself from telling this. So what did I do this past one month?Everyday get up around nine O clock,have coffee or tea, read the newspaper and watch the TV for the rest of the day.That was the very schedule of my life.When I came back from Chennai I had made a lot of promises to myself.But I turned out to be a man of promises,well,woman. It is very boring to sit idle at home. I was wondering how my mom manges at home when none of us are here because I find it very difficult to cope up with noone around me.

Atleast to kill this boredom I should have written the blogs most frequently considering the fact that I was surfing everyday. But I dint do that also. I hope from today onwards I will stick to my promises and do something worthy. You can see the next blog very soon.Being a little optimistic:)

Home...Sweet home....

Yes..Am back after a lng time.Sorry.I was not able to access blogger from office bcoz it was blocked at office(ofcourse i was using it too much....:)Now am back @ my home where noone will block my access to any of the sites i visit..Well...I came home; rather I should say I have been made so. Am under so called sabbatical.that is jargon for VPP in our company.I dint have any problem in putting me in VPP but as far as I am concerned being in VPP doesnt mean that I am fired, so I lost my previleges as an employee. Its understandable to cut the salary.But I couldnt fathom why they reduced the mail box size so much that it would be better if they have blocked our mails. On the top of it they revoked our internet acces also. And all these happened all of a sudden that we dint even get a breathing space.i.e.,Even b4 VPP has been implemented and without any prior notification.Enough is enough.I decided not to go to office and dint go also in the following days till the D-Day though I was allowed to go.The rest of the days till I left Chennai was sweet and bitter.Sweet in the sense that it was the counted few days I had with my sweet hostel mates and bitter I dint have lunch almost all days.And it was too hot in Chennai that you would feel like you are living in hell.For the first few days till the VPP started I was alone at hostel.On those days I was reckoning how can I make use of this long leave fruitfully. ThenI decided to be regular on my blog and write about my chennai life which lasted for almost one and a half years.I know now its been two three days am at home and havnt started anything.But its always better to be late than never,right?So guys I ll start to write about my chennai life shortly..Wait and watch..Its coming soooooon...;)

International Women's Day-Some Wild Thoughts

Yesterday was women's day. In my office we celebrated it on friday itself since the actual day fell on Sunday. I think they had arranged for some interesting programmes like who dressed well n some games too. Anyways I din't go that way. Don't think that I am not proud to be a woman.Of course I am but least interested to take part in such celebrations. Yesterday morning I wished all my hostel mates and they too wished me back and we din't have any celebrations. Accidentally I happened to read the book "A Thousand Splendid Suns" yesterday. It was about the endurance of a woman has to suffer in her whole life time just because she is not a man and she is entitled to suffer all those sufferings till her last breath on this earth. Anyways I was not about to talk all these things since all these were always discussed and being discussed, will be discussed in the future also without bringing much change into a woman's life. What I thought was that why we are having a Women's Day whereas we are not having a Men's Day. I shared my thought with my roommate. She retorted that its because all other days are theirs and both of us laughed out this. Even I too thought the same. We are celebrating this day for women are considered to be weak and just to motivate them or inspire them or show support for them. I felt its a silly reason. Then I thought of Gandhi Jayanti and so many other days which we celebrate every year. All those days we celebrate because of their importance or the changes or sacrifices made by them to the world. So atlast I reached at a conclusion that we are celebrating this particular day as Women's Day for the same reason and I felt happy and proud. I know whatever I said did not make nay sense to you may be for me also,who knows.....

I wish......

I was crying as if I have ever cried in my entire life so far. I looked around.There was noone out to console me. There was noone to lean on. I searched for a shoulder where i could find a solace. But I was in total darkness through which I couldn't see anyone. I din't know why I was crying. The tears was rushing out from my eyes which slowly rolled down on my cheeks. I can feel the taste of tears. It was savory. I wondered why is it so and thought it must be bitter. May be my bitter mood prompted me to think in that way. I have always loved solitude. Solitude is a blessing; at the same time I hated loneliness, loneliness is a curse. The worst curse you can ever get in your life. I was lonely at that time. I desperately longed for a company. But at midnight who is going to give me a company. I could sense all my roommates were sleeping peacefully. I felt pity on myself. I allowed my tears to flow out some more time. Until I felt I am back I cried. After all the drama, yes, I would love to call myself what I did was a drama, I stopped crying. I felt more relaxed as usual. True, tears have a magical power which will wash away all your sorrows with the tears you shed out.So I dozed off soon after that. I saw a dream in that someone was whispering me that why did you cry when I was with you always, when I would wipe off all your tears and bring your beautiful smile back,when you could find solace always in me. I smiled and said I knew you were there always for me and ran to his wide open arms. Suddenly I opened my eyes and realized that it was just a dream, a sweet dream which would never happen in real life. With that realization I resumed my sleep or else I may have to face the bitter reality of being late in the office next day.

Musings

I want to write something. But being lethargic as usual I can't write. When I just think of the events happening in my life I feel like I ll write about this. But laziness which took birth inside me on the very same day I was born doesn't allow me to do it. I have been expecting a miracle to happen so that I will get red of this habit. Do I sound stupid?Yes, I am. Being a little stupid is good. I know very well that without a sincere effort from myside nothing is going to happen. Atleast I should have an honest desire. Or else its just a feeling. A feeling which can be real if I do something or else a feeling which ll last for a few moments and ends as usual. Good. I wrote something out of nothing. Not bad. Let me start doing some work now. Or else I will be another dead asset for my company which is already struggling to breathe through the current difficult situation.

The bitter sweet memories.......

As usual I was going back from office to my PG. It was past 8.30 or so...there was no much people walkin on the footpath ofcourse in a metro like Chennai at this time you ll find ppl seldom walking...I walked past NIFT....One of the reason I love to walk on this way is NIFT..whenever I walk past NIFT, it ll fill my mind with the sweet memories of my college...but yesterday there were a lot of students in front of it which is not usual, atleast i havnt seen in the past two months since i started to work in Tidel Park and walk on tht footpath. then I remebered a program which I listened on the weekend. Itw as a promo of some cultural event happening in NIFT. If I remember correctly the program's name was Spectrum and it has some fashion show n all....I dint listen the program fully so dont know wht else events they r having....They were sitting on the footpath as groups, couples..you know how these students are during college days when some event is happening in college..just like that....It reminded me the good old days..the days we had a lot of fun during our culturals..especially events as big as Ragam conducted by the students of NITC.....we used to sit on our Rajpath and comment those who are coming from other colleges...Those late nights at college with unleashed energy and enthusiasm......Dancing and singing with the friends.....and all other miscievous activities....unexpected proposals from unknown people....On a strong urge to show others how great college is ours.....Now, when I look past, I realise with pain tht those days are gone..its gone forever... It will never comeback again...I walked past NIFT and its students...But the memories which came into my mind dint fade that easily.....It will be always there with me as a sweet pain...... I miss my college badly and the beautiful moments (ofcourse there were moments which I wish never happened also) it gave to me....Still as someone said,I am grateful that atleast I have the memories with me....Those bitter sweet memories which I cherish always...